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    Winter '24

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    AYLLI CORTEZ

                                           A long time not never. Healing
                                                       is
                                                         precarious. Place the wound
                                         on a lower shelf. Along the far wall.
                                                 Anywhere is good as long as
                                             it can breathe.
                                                         It will be a living one
                                                  in a long list of deaths. In a long line
                                           of long-haired old ones, a last one.
                                                 Like nerves in the lungs. How long
                                                       you can stretch them outside the body
                                               and lie before longing
                                                                               not to.

                                                        Before piecing the room together.
                                                 Waiting in the long hours from dust
                                                          to dawn. From ash to long arms
                                             and the smoke that comes
                                                                too quickly,
                                                     longingly in the morning
                                                                           when
                                                                                    the bed is empty.

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    When my mother cuts my hair, she holds my life 

    in her hands. Cradles it as she lifts the scissors 

    to my temple and snips close to the skin. This is

    the dream where I cannot lie. Where I greet her

    touch with no resistance.

    She asks me to straighten my back

    and I do. To raise my chin and I can. The hairs fall

    away like bits of paper from a snowflake 

    a child makes. Is proud of. What’s left has become 

    art by virtue of having been made.

    In the mirror, my reflection is material.

    Everything else is light.

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    Aylli Cortez (he/they) is a transmasc Filipino poet studying creative writing and theatrical performance at Ateneo de Manila University. His collage art and poems have appeared in HEIGHTS Ateneo. He is based in Metro Manila, Philippines. Find him on X and Instagram @1159cowboy.

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